There is nothing like a birthday to take a moment and reflect on the things past and the things to come. This last year has been so fruitful, the Lord has worked so much in me and has lead and transformed me in ways I never even imagined and isn’t beautiful that he does this for all of us? As I look back at this past year I can really see three places that he has grown me the most; patience, self-worth, and endurance.
I have always felt patience to be one my stronger personality traits, but this year I have learned a whole new reason for patience. Patience for the Lord’s will in not my life but in my friends lives. So desperately I have begged the Lord for redemption in my friends, for the darkest places of their lives to be shown upon with truth and light. I will be the first to admit that it kills me to know that my friends are hurting and reaching out for help but yet not grasping the truth that will set them free. In this though I forget that He is molding and growing someone in His design; that their struggles are just as necessary as my own for them to grow. Patience in others grow is just as necessary as patience in my own.
Oh what a blessing it is to be set free of insecurities! I am not saying that there aren’t days because boy there are days but somewhere in there I have gained a confidence in myself I have never felt before. My eyes have opened to glimpse just a small part of how the Lord sees me and oh how beautiful His design for my life and soul are. How he has intricately designed me to be unique, full of quirks, that all combine to make the perfect tool for His service. Part of opening my eyes was letting go of how others see me. I held on so much to what others thought rather than seeing the perfect design God had made in me. What has been an even greater blessing in letting go and growing in myself, is seeing how others have fully embraced it, through my random outbursts of rapping, singing, or dancing and my enjoyment of life in odd ways, the people around me still fully love me, if not even more.
Learning endurance is a constant in my life. There were times this year where I felt like throwing the in towel, curling in a hole and watching The Office for the rest of my life. Thankfully I have a great set of friends and this was certainly never allowed. Through their encouragement I pushed through each day and learned once more the strength gained from leaning into Him each day. As I searched some of the darkest places of my soul this past year, they gave me the needed encouragement to endure through the pain and see the light gained by pulling down the walls to let the truth in.
I am thankful and overwhelmed by the struggles of this past year but I can’t wait to see what’s next! This year I am already seeing the Lord teach me of His will and precision of timing for my life, I am so excited to walk the adventure of living each day as it’s own as God directs His larger picture for my life from above.
With many blessing, Annie
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14